Do you remember that game we played in primary school where a number of people stand inside a circle formed by other people, whose job it is to throw balls at the people in the middle?  If you are one of the people standing in the middle it is in your best interests to try and dodge those balls which fly at you from all angles and leave tender bruises where they hit.   At our school we called it “brandings”.  At the IVF clinic they call it “counselling for donor recipients”.

We have survived several rounds of counselling. The counsellor herself was very nice.  The questions she was obliged to ask  required that we imagine far into the future of  unborn child. We had to propose strategies for dealing with emotional issues that may, or may not, arise at each stage of our child’s development.  We had to talk about the imaginary conversations we might have with our child, and with the donor, and with our friends and family.  We created a whole new universe in her office – one in which our child suffered no hardship from being conceived in an unorthodox way.  A universe where we knew exactly what to say to our child of, naturally, superior intelligence and calm disposition.   One where none of our friends or family were affected by our decision and one where we, as parents, were 100% positive that donor eggs were the right choice for us.    I can tell you it was a stupendously joyful place in which to exist for all of 40mins, after which we were plunged back down into the reality of childlessness as the cousellor fullfilled her duties by disclosing the very low success rate of donor egg cycles.  About 20%.  Still, that is nowhere near as low as the success rate we were given when we used our own egg. i.e. 1%.

So we have a green light and golden ticket and we are prepared to use it.


One Response to “Brandings”

  1. jodie38 Says:

    Yay!!!!! Sorry I’ve been a crappy commenter, still checking on you. Keep posting!!! 🙂

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