Today marks the day

Today, the fourteenth of July in the year of our Lord two thousand and eight, marks the day upon which I have been told that my road to having my own biological child ends.  And if you’re wondering why I’ve written it that way…well it really does seem momentous to me and I sort of wanted to honour the occasion.  This afternoon we visited the head honcho doctor from the IVF clinic.  He said he is “black and white” sure that there is no point in continuing with IVF with our sperm and eggs.  Our next stop would be egg donation.

Despite being pretty well prepared for such a verdict, since we’ve had three stimulated cycles without being able to fertilize even one egg – not that we ever got more than one egg to try with – we are both shocked and stunned and trying to allow this piece of information to work its way thorugh our bodies.

We were trying to come up with some reason why this could happen…some marvellous thing that we could do with our lives that couldn’t be done if we did have a child.  But really there are very few things that made the list.  Maybe……work 24 hours a day for NASA…or … live in the jungle studying tropical diseases.  But really, it’s very unlikely that, even if we both worked really hard that we’d be able to accomplish such heights.  We’re ordinary people who may be a bit arty in their own way.

Yep, I don’t think there’s a consolation for this one.

So what do we do now?  We consider egg donation from my Sister, if she offers – we will not ask or pressure her.  And…we maybe go down the herbal track again…just so we know…for sure…just so we know…for sure…just so we know that we’ve done everything we can…and so that later….when we are old together…..we have no regrets…and we can maintain the respect and love we have for eachother now.


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One Response to “Today marks the day”

  1. jodie38 Says:

    I’m so sorry, Cat. I’m sort of in the same place you are, so I don’t have any great words of wisdom for you. I wish I had some for both of us. But I definitely know how much it sucks, and I know you have to take things one day at a time. Sometimes, one minute at a time. Hang in there – I’ll be thinking of you…..

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